I’d never hopped off of it, really. I just wasn’t posting any of my thoughts here for awhile. This past month has been tough. It’s been a time of renewal and reawakening, both painful and invigorating. My relationship of nearly three years came to an end almost a month ago now, and I have moved back to my original home, Brooklyn, NY. I’ve left Atlanta behind, along with the majority of my earthly belongings for the time being.
As a result of this period of great change in my life, I have felt like retreating to that inner space that involves spending a lot of time with my thoughts and personal desires, and by default, not much time with the outside world. Having sufficiently indulged myself in this period of intense solitude, I am beginning to feel like it is time to make my return to the world of people other than myself. This, I believe, is a mark of major emotional progress for an introvert like me.
Despite the fact that I haven’t posted here since May 12th, nor have I written any poetry since a bit before then, I have been maintaining my other writing goals effectively. I am up-to-date in both of my daily journals. I have also finished reading The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest (and mourning the end of that fantastic series!), and It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken (hilarity peppered with great advice). I’ve also stocked up on the next three books I will be reading – up next, Take the Cannoli by Sarah Vowell, at the recommendation of a dear friend.
In addition to my copious reading and writing efforts, I’ve joined the local gym and have worked out three of the past four days. It’s one of the many things that I’ve talked a lot about and haven’t done a thing to back up my words with action, until now. I am serious about seizing this opportunity to begin again and rebuild my life with integrity and vitality.
The next item on my ever-burgeoning to-do list is to reshape my career path, an ongoing project in my life for the past six years. I am thinking very seriously about pursuing my love of curriculum writing, since it incorporates both my passion for writing and my extensive knowledge of English education. I’m even considering the possibility of returning to school to study curriculum and instruction, rather than going through another round of the MFA draft. The idea has been sitting well with me for the past few weeks.
All in all, this period of change has felt more exciting for its potential to lead me somewhere new and lovely than it has felt scary. Not to say that there isn’t some level of fear involved in this transition on a daily basis, because there is. It’s just that the smack of thrill has recently been more powerful than the fear of uncertainty, and for that I am deeply grateful.